My Captain Can't be This Cute!
by flaversei
Summary: Perhaps Zoro has lost his mind, because he starts seeing things. For example, a girl version of Luffy. [ZoLu]


_Hello! Flaversei here!_

 _I'm a newbie here, and this is my very first fic, so there must be some mistakes here and there, but I do hope you'll like this ^^;_

 _Because of the weirdness of this fic, you might as well call this a crack!fic xD_

 _Enjoy!_

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 **My Captain Can't be this Cute!**

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 ** _Disclaimer._**  
 ** _One Piece © Eiichiro Oda_**

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 **-x-**

Roronoa Zoro is the first person who joined Luffy on his journey to become the Pirate King — in other words, he is Luffy's first mate. Being the first mate, it is only natural that Zoro knows Luffy better than anyone else in the crew does. Zoro is able to notice every little changes on his captain, he himself has no idea how; he just did. He knows Luffy as good as he knows himself.

Zoro holds an unwavering loyalty and respects towards his captain. Whatever the situation is, he will always trusts Luffy no matter how stupid and impossible his decision is. Dying for Luffy is something he will do without doubt when the time comes. After all, that one incident with Kuma has proofed it, no?

Anyway, that's that. Zoro is the first mate, the swordsman, the Vice-Captain and the right hand of the future Pirate King. Sometimes even being overprotective, he might as well become Luffy's big brother too.

Though sometimes, Zoro does wonder about things. _Weird things._

Like, what if Luffy was a girl?

 **-x-**

It was a hectic night. After they had successfully avoided a cyclone, the Strawhat crew got caught up in thunderstorms. No one had time to relax. Nami repeatedly shouted orders; the men rushed here and there, doing their best to keep Sunny in track. Truly a hectic night.

A giant wave blocked their path and every single one of them was so focused in moving around that when a sudden shout was heard so loud and clear above all noises, they were stunned for a moment.

"LUFFY!"

It was Zoro. All of them searched for the cause of his worry — Luffy, and when they do found him, they panicked.

The ship was climbing the wave at a steep eighty degree with an incredible speed and Luffy was just a few seconds late in holding onto anything. He was just barely safe in holding onto the back railing with one hand; but the wind was so strong that he had trouble pulling himself in.

They, every single one of them, wanted to save the captain, but if they do abandon their post right now, it could change Sunny's route and the strong waves might thrown all of them overboard.

Apparently, Zoro didn't care.

He was in charge of holding the sail, yet he, without any delay nor doubt, jumped down and sprinted with all his might against the wind to reach Luffy. With one sail at loose, the wind shook Sunny so hard that it was abruptly drifted off by the waves. The sudden movement shook Luffy as he lost his grip and fell.

"Zoroo!"

Without even thinking, Zoro jumped and dove in to the deep sea, despite the dire situation they were in.

Zoro was swimming against the strong water currents. Even for someone as sturdy as Zoro, he had to admit that it was quite a tough task. Not to mention that it was so dark and he could barely see anything. Zoro had to rely on his Observation Haki while forcing every muscle on his body to move forward. Not easy at all.

His Haki sensed Luffy quite far away from Sunny but he sensed no movement from his captain. Zoro felt fear creeping onto him as he sped up — he wouldn't let his captain die in a place like this. No way.

Luffy drifted further and deeper into the sea, and Zoro really had to use all of his monstrous strength to catch up. He was almost out of breath by the time Luffy was within his sight.

The water currents had carried him into the calmer part of the sea, and Zoro was thankful for that.

Oddly enough, as if Luffy was being protected, some seaweeds wrapped up his arms and legs, as if keeping him in place before the water took him further away from Zoro's reach.

Then it happened.

Luffy was definitely unconscious. His eyes were closed shut and his mouth was slightly open. His black hair swayed slowly with the water, for some reason making it looked a little bit longer that it should. Zoro didn't know why, but for a second, the sight stopped him on his track.

Luffy looked so… Calm. As if he was just sleeping instead of being on the verge of death. There was no trace of that stupid nosy captain. Instead, the one in front of Zoro looked so… _How should he put it?_ The sight was so rare. Luffy looked so in-place, with seaweeds gently wrapping his limbs and beautiful, colorful corals surrounding him in the deep blue sea.

Zoro was dumbfounded. He felt stupid. He must've lost his mind, because for a second, _for a mere split second_ , he was stunned by the sight and thought,

 _How beautiful._

And after that mere one second Zoro sped up, having the urge to punch himself for having such a stupid thought of his own captain.

He didn't even need to try and cut the seaweed, since it easily released Luffy when Zoro pulled his hand. He put Luffy on his back and with all of his remaining strength, he swam back to the surface.

When Zoro surfaced, Sunny was already far away. With an unconscious Luffy on his back and the storm still going on, he was not quite sure whether he could make it back in time or not. Nevertheless, he had to. It was his captain that he was carrying, and it was enough of a reason for him to keep trying.

 **-x-**

When morning came, the Strawhat crew was so delighted to find an island where they could finally rest after a long night of cyclone and thunderstorms. It was a small-uninhabited island covered mostly in trees.

Last night, Zoro was somehow able to make it back safely. Thousand Sunny also managed to escape the wild thunderstorms. Luffy was safe, but Zoro drank too much seawater and _other things_ which made him felt dizzy.

After organizing things, Luffy, Usopp and Chopper immediately ran to explore; Sanji and Robin went out to search for food; Nami, accompanied by Brook walked around to begin mapping; Franky stayed to repair the ship, while Zoro laid down somewhere near the beach below a palm tree in a grassy field to sleep.

 **-x-**

When Zoro opened his eyes, it was already quite dark. The blue sky had turned into shades of orange and the wind felt so good that Zoro considered sleeping again, only before his ears heard rustling sounds behind him.

Zoro was about to get up, when he recognized the familiar sound and decided to just continue sleeping.

"Oh, Zoro! There you are!"

That cheerful voice was without doubt Luffy's voice. Considering that it was Luffy, he probably wanted to play or something, so Zoro closed his eyes again, hoping that his captain would just give up and go away.

"Eehh? You're sleeping? Boo." Luffy pouted at the sight.

Zoro did realize that Luffy's voice was not quite the same as usual. It was… several pitches higher? Well, whatever. Perhaps he was imagining things.

"Aaahh, after I went through the trouble of searching for you…" Luffy sounded a little — too — disappointed, but Zoro continued his sleeping-act anyway.

"Well, whatever. I'll just wait until you're awake."

Even with closed eyes, Zoro knew. He could hear the rustling sound as Luffy moved closer and laid down beside him quietly.

That was weird.

Usually Luffy would annoy Zoro until he wake up or just keep being noisy. Not like this. Not obediently laid down and waited. That was not like Luffy.

After a minute passed without any sound from Luffy, Zoro started getting suspicious. Did his captain also fell asleep? No, no way. Luffy was not the sleeping-type. Zoro knew that.

It turned out that Luffy did try to annoy him anyway. Zoro felt warm breeze, which was probably Luffy's breath on his neck. He wasn't particularly annoyed by this, since it actually felt good. _At first_. After a while it became quite annoying.

Zoro let out a sigh and lazily opened his right eye. He was welcomed by the dim light of sun and the orange-ish sky that looked really stunning as the sun ever so slightly started to disappear. It was a very beautiful sunset, really.

"Oh! You're awake!"  
Luffy sounded too excited, and his voice was really close — too close, dammit.

Zoro just realized that Luffy was invading his personal space. He was laying down just right next to Zoro, with probably no distance between their bodies. Zoro didn't need to turn his face to see that Luffy was facing him with his big grin — he could see it clearly from the corner of his eyes. Too close. _Way too close._

Something seemed amiss, though. It was Luffy beside him, no doubt about it; but something just felt weird. Something wasn't right, and Zoro had a bad feeling about this.

"What do you want, Luffy?" Zoro asked, without moving an inch from his place. He didn't even try to turn and look at Luffy, since with this distance — if there was any — then he would be facing him straight, perhaps with nose touching each other's. That would be super-awkward, no?

"Nothing. Hehe." Luffy let out an innocent laugh and grinned again, much to Zoro's annoyance.

"Then? Why are you laying down here? What about Usopp and Chopper?" Zoro asked grumpily. He was already awake, so it was actually not a problem. What he did not like was the fact that Luffy was invading his personal space, dammit.

"Aaww, can't I?"

From the corner of his right eye, he could see Luffy making a whiny puppy-face which for a second twisted something on Zoro's heart. _Damn_. Luffy really looked like a lost puppy, and he sounded like one.

 _Hello? Is this really Luffy?_

Zoro started to grow desperate since for a mere second he thought of the word ' _cute_ ' just now. Ew. Creepy. Seriously, he needed to see Chopper later.

"Luffy, stop that."

"Stop what?" Luffy tilted his head slightly; his expression was of pure curiosity like a child that Zoro felt like he needed to punch himself to maintain his composure.

 _Stop acting like that and being so goddamned cute or—_

 _Shit._

Did he… Did Roronoa Zoro just think that Luffy was… What was the word? _Cute?_  
Really, Zoro? Have you finally lost interest in woman?

 _What the heck is wrong with me?!_

Zoro closed his eyes. Perhaps he was still dreaming. The tiredness must've affected him. Yeah, that must be it.

"Nevermind. Now why don't you just go to where everyone is? I need some sleep."

With a sigh, Luffy got up, but didn't go away. Zoro peeked with one eye and saw Luffy sitting beside him.

 _Hmm? Did his hair grow longer? Did he become… Smaller? Since when?_

Zoro couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with his captain. There was definitely something wrong here. Luffy's hair was not as messy as before and it was slightly longer than usual. His broad shoulder had become somewhat smaller and his skinny body became more… curvy? _What? How?_

Luffy let out a long, disappointed sigh. "Looks like I got rejected."

 _Huh? What?_

Zoro blinked his eye several times. _Rejected?_

"Actually… Robin said that the sunset here would be really beautiful, so I searched for you because I thought it would be nice to see it together and it would be romantic, but…"

Luffy looked down. He pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face in it.

 _Wha… WHAT THE HECK?  
Did Luffy just… Did he just say that?! Romantic? Hell, why would he want to be in a romantic situation with me?! Did he even know the meaning of 'romantic'?!_

Zoro was speechless. Unintentionally, his heart was beating faster than it should.

 _No, no, no, no, no. No way. This is wrong. That's not Luffy. Even if he is, he must've been poisoned by that stupid ero-cook. Yeah, that must be it. Or maybe he's pulling a prank on me._

"Lu-Luffy?"

Luffy was a bit shocked at the mention of his name. He didn't react for a moment, then he lifted up his face. His frown changed into a grin as he turned _'his'_ body to face Zoro.

"What? Did you change your mind?"

Zoro's eyes widened in surprise. He got up as he paid more attention to Luffy now.

It was Luffy… Or not… But it was certainly Luffy… With some modifications on certain body parts… Yeah, right.

His — no, in this case, it would be _'her'_ — whole body was that of a girl, just like Nami and Robin. Zoro simply couldn't believe his own eyes. Behind her buttoned red vest, he could see her slightly exposed cleavage. Her body was curvy in all the right places. Her bangs slightly covered her face, which made her looked so adorable. Her short black hair and the Straw Hat that was hanging from her slender neck swayed slightly. With that grin plastered on her face, Zoro couldn't help but thought,

 _How beautiful._

 _It was so wrong yet for Zoro it felt so right._

When he didn't say anything and just kept on staring at her, Luffy let out a rich laugh which immediately made Zoro's heart stop beating for a moment, followed by a faster beat than before.

"Can't take your eyes off of me, eh?"

Now Zoro was definitely caught off guard. He panicked, — he averted his gaze but stared back at her repeatedly; he opened his mouth but couldn't find the right word — which was actually cute. And he did blush slightly. _Wow_.

"N-No, t-that, I, w-well—"

It was very unusual for someone like Zoro to behave like that. He was too shocked that his mind couldn't think clearly. He even couldn't begin to question _'What'_ or _'Why'_ , even though that would be the most logical question right now. Luffy was a boy, right?

Luffy just laughed at Zoro's reaction as she stared back at the sea, or precisely, the sun that was sinking further into the sea.

"Oh, look, Zoro! The sunset!"

Luffy's wide eyes glittered in awe. Zoro turned his face to see the sunset, and he was also stunned by the view.

The sun somehow looked so big as it slowly disappeared, with a part of the blue sea turning colors into shades of orange. For a moment, it seemed as if the sea and the sky merged into one.

Zoro then turned to look at _the girl_ beside him. Luffy. He didn't know what happened to Luffy, but he just couldn't complain about it. She was really adorable. So graceful. Moreover, that carefree attitude would just make her even cuter.

Yeah. Zoro must've been crazy for thinking about stuffs like this about his captain, but he didn't care. He just couldn't bring himself to care, or to even think right now.

He didn't know which one was more stunning; this Luffy or that sunset. Almost absent-mindedly, he drew himself even closer to her.

Now it was his turn to invade this girl's personal space.

Luffy seemed aware of this, as she averted her gaze from the beautiful sunset to Zoro's face, which kept on getting closer to hers. She was shocked, but didn't make any effort to get away. Zoro wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her even closer.

When there was absolutely no distance between the two, Zoro held her chin gently, as Luffy closed her eyes. In response, Zoro also closed his eyes, his lips slightly open. With the beautiful sunset as their background, one couldn't hope for a more romantic situation than this.

As his lips were about to touch hers, his mind went completely blank, and his heart just kept on beating faster and faster; he sincerely hoped that time would stop and let them embrace this moment.

That was when…

 **-x-**

Oddly enough, Zoro felt a sudden urge to _dodge_ , even though there was no one else there except the two of them, but…

Suddenly he felt quite a big amount of pain on his cheek that sent him flying several meters, followed by,

"WAKE UP, IDIOT SHITTY MARIMO!"

 **-x-**

Zoro abruptly opened his eyes. His mind was still in awe that he couldn't really understand his current situation. In front of him stood Sanji; one leg lifted up with an annoyed face. Around him was the same scenery he had seen seconds ago.

It took his mind a full minute to register what had just happened.

"Was I… Sleeping?"

Sanji raised his eyebrow and his face looked even more annoyed now. "Huh? Yeah, right. You were sleeping like a baby. Too bad. I was hoping that you would never wake up."

 _Yeah, me too._

Much to Sanji's surprise, he didn't get any retort from Zoro. Instead, Zoro closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

 _A dream._

 _Dream._

 _Dream._

 _That was just a dream. One fucking realistic dream._

It was so real that Zoro could feel everything. He remembered everything, every single details. Thinking about it now, he couldn't believe his mind actually came up with such a ludicrous dream like that. Hell, there was no way Luffy was a girl. And why would _he want to kiss Luffy_? It's _Luffy_. _That Luffy_.

Above all that disgusted feeling toward himself, though, he did feel a little, _just a little_ disappointed that his dream had to end in such an abrupt end like that. Did his mind even know the term 'cliffhanger'?! If it was going to make a dream like that, at least end it properly!

He let out a long, long sigh.

 _But a girl Luffy wasn't too bad—_

 _Oh, no. Fuck, no._

 _No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No way._

"Oi, ero-cook."

"Huh? What was that, shitty swordsman?!"

"Kick me again."

Sanji's cigarette fell from his mouth. He expected Zoro to fight back after he had successfully kicked him before like that. Perhaps he kicked too hard that it damaged his head, huh?

"Gladly."

 **-x-**

The two of them walked to the beach where the rest of the Straw Hat were having barbeque. Zoro had a bruise mark on his cheek, but he was not gonna complain. Physical pain would at least keep him sane. He would forget all about it soon. He _must_ forget it.

Zoro sat down beside Brook who was playing his violin happily. Perhaps some music could help him forget. Brook was playing Bink's Sake and Franky sang along with the music. Zoro tried to join in to clear his mind; but then,

"Oi, Zoro! Look at me!"

His captain, Luffy, was waving enthusiastically to him with a big grin plastered on his face.

 _See? That's Luffy. He's an idiot so you better shut up and forget all about it._

"Yo, Luffy! What is it?"

Luffy walked closer to Zoro, and… Well, Zoro's happy face suddenly turned so pale that he felt like punching his own face real hard right now.

"Look! I have boobs! Big boobs!"

Luffy, wearing his buttoned red vest, had put _two big melons_ inside, so it — _ridiculously enough_ , — did look like boobs. He grabbed his 'melons' and lifted it up and down, trying to imitate bouncy boobs. Usopp and Chopper were rolling in the sand, laughing hard; Robin giggled at the joke, while Nami looked a little irritated.

"Oh, no! My boobs fall!" said that stupid captain as his 'boobs' fall and he ran to catch it.

Zoro was speechless all the time.

Sanji walked angrily to Luffy who had played with food and irritated Nami.

"Wait."

"Huh? What, marimo? Wanna fight?" Sanji glared angrily at Zoro, preparing to fight, but—

"Kick me again."

"Wha— You okay?"

Sanji, for the second time, dropped his cigarette again. Did he seriously kick him that hard that now Zoro have lost his mind?

"Whatever, just do it."

"My pleasure."

 **-x-**

It was just a dream, and that stupid dream was already over.

Zoro had forgotten all about it. All thanks to Luffy himself.

That mesmerizing image of "the beautiful, cute, and graceful Luffy" that he saw in his dream had been completely replaced by the traumatizing image of "Luffy and his melons".

End of story.

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 **-THE END-**

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 ** __** _okay that was so random ._._

 _I'm sorry, this is so weird. Well at least I tried! xD_

 _Thank you so much for reading! Mind leaving your thoughts below? :)_

 ** _-FVsei-_**


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